Timeless Principles – Self-Control

Courtesy of Editor B (flickr)

Last week we discussed the principle of Mildness.

In a lot of ways, self-control is similar to mildness.  But there is one key difference.

Developing mildness will essentially keep you cool while maneuvering your way through life’s inevitable stresses, and doing so requires a level of self-control, so the two qualities are linked.  But there are times when even the mildest of people will run into a situation that pushes them toward – or over – the edge.

At that point, only a deep-seated self-control will prevent full-on meltdown from occurring.

Self-control is really seated in the realization and appreciation of the fact that freaking out about a situation rarely if ever improves or solves it.  It relies on a strong inner confidence that you’re capable of handling any situation you come across and facing any stress successfully as long as you maintain control of your reactions to the extent that you can think before you act.

Hollywood would have us believe that “taking matters into your own hands” and “fighting fire with fire” are the natural reactions of a good guy put in a bad situation.  And it has to be granted that history includes examples of men and women who got themselves and others out of deadly situations by resorting to violence or some other manifestation of fury.

But there are a few important points to keep in mind when watching the movies or reading the stories:

1. Most of the time, this tactic doesn’t work.  People hurt themselves, hurt others, or end up dead unnecessarily because of uncontrollably reacting to a terrible situation.
2. The few examples of those who became heroes in a situation like this generally handled matters with an incredible amount of self-control, even if violence was a tool in their arsenal.

In other words, self-control allowed people forced into a horrible situation to maintain clear enough thinking faculties to actually plan their reaction in such a way that success was possible.  They often describe a feeling of detachment or calm that came over them at the point that action needed to be taken.  And that is what really allowed them to succeed.  The self-control they exhibited at that crucial moment allowed them to clearly decide how they were going to react, even if it only took a second or two.

Without self-control, these heroes could very well be dead.

So how does one actually develop a quality that seemingly only comes into play in circumstances we hope to never experience?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, self-control is actually intertwined with mildness and other qualities such as peace and love.  The basis of self-control is confidence in your ability to handle matters, and that confidence comes from practice.  In that way, it’s closely related to faith as well: faith in yourself.  And as we discussed previously, faith is not blind.  It is based on evidence that your mind accepts as a valid foundation for logical assumptions of future results.

So, by working to develop these other qualities in your life, you will automatically be exercising your self-control as well.  You will need to exhibit self-control in order to apply these other qualities, and in turn, doing so successfully will boost your ability to maintain self-control.

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