It’s a complex four-part poem, rather long as far as my work goes, and it evolved very quickly.  It’s interesting, but true: every time I read it, I get a little something new out of it.  I hope that’s not just me.

The Ectopic Epiphany

I.
An idea implants itself,
a minute too early
or a decade too late,
in the mind of an individual
whose life was moving along
just fine without it.

Its tendrils seek blood
and begin seeping life
from the consciousness
that spawned its pre-mature
birth to a world that was
just fine without it.

And so begins the battle:
A mind beside itself
with fear and hope,
pleasure and pain, as it wonders
“could this really come to be?
Can I make this real?”

II.
A mother knows when the child she carries
struggles with foot and fist and bone
or submits to the gentle sailboat tumble
and sleeps, awaiting nature alone
within a liquid cocoon, protected
but battered with constant quasi-blows.
Afloat in amniotic silence,
the child waits, and hopes, and grows.

This germ of human consciousness,
this miracle of creation’s power,
this parasite, this leech, reminds us
just how strong we must be to cower.
To let another choose our pathway,
to submit completely, to choose
to go the way another leads us,
but lead the leader in silent ruse.

Just as the deepest of new ideas
leads the dreamer on a painful quest:
To space, or deepest ocean trenches,
inside the mind, or, young man, west!
This germ of human creativity,
this miracle of God’s image in us
this parasite, this leech of energy
is the genesis of all that ever was.

III.
Refine, rewrite, resuscitate,
design, deny, then deviate,
confine, connect and correlate
these thoughts that form a dirty slate

Unfold, unveil, unintentionally
embolden, fail, then functionally
retold, embrace the rationally
tunneling vulgaris fides* known nationally.

IV.
A man who knows the truth
is labeled “heretic”
by a crusty, crumbling leader
of a crusty, crumbling sect.
His proofs are shot down
his reasoning muddied
his open-mindedness shunned
by the empty-headed masses,
who watch with awe and shame
mixed with dreadful joy
as a man who knows the truth
burns alive, chained to his papers.

If you enjoyed that poem, you may like the collection.  It’s available in print on Amazon or Createspace.  I’m also considering making it available on the Kindle and other e-readers.  Let me know if that interests you.

Here is a poem from my first collection, Sanity is Boring.

It is an odd poem.  I originally wrote it for my wife, and considered it a love poem.  Or, at least, a heartfelt ode to her.

She didn’t get it.  And still doesn’t.

So, I’ve reassessed it and… think she’s crazy.  See what you think:

Elixir

Should I confine
In drops of time
The gifts received and undeserved
It would, I think
Comprise a drink
To quench the fiercest thirst
To satiate
And fill the plate
Of the most insatiable appetites
To gently sting
And spread my wings
To lift on borrowed wind, to flight
May I recall
Before I fall
The liquid that bubbled life
And heartily share
That blessed snare
The devoted warden formed, my wife
If you like that poem, you may like the collection. You can pick up the print version at Amazon or Createspace. I hope to get them out in Kindle soon too. Let me know if that interests you.

If you’re a fan of what I do on this blog, I have no qualms about highly recommending Coping With Terminal Stillness:

Coping With Terminal Stillness

Click to Read!

Coping With Terminal Stillness: Poems, Short Stories and Other Broken Things is my third collection of verse and prose, and was just released January 17th, 2012.

It’s an interesting combination of poetry, essays and short stories revolving around three themed sections: Creation, Terminal Stillness, and Random Acts.

My goal with this collection was to marry all three of the aspects of my writing that this blog focuses on in some sort of cohesive whole.

So, the first section, Creation, includes poems based around nature themes and my view of the outside world.  Then, I also included a short story I wrote about nature running amok, called Mosquitoes.

The second section, Terminal Stillness, focuses more introspectively, or my view of the inside world, if you will.  The poems in this section are a bit darker and more intense, mostly with an autobiographical leaning.  Then I included a series of essays from the Timeless Principles posts on this blog because their focus is on self-improvement and development of the inner person.

Finally, the third section, Random Acts, is a loosely defined hodgepodge of poems and two short stories that involve random events or a loss of control.

I’m thrilled with the result, and I hope you find something of interest and value as well!

Here is a sample including the first twenty pages of the book, which gives you the full table of contents as well as the entire first section, Creation:

Coping With Terminal Stillness Sample

Please consider buying a copy for yourself or a friend if anything in the sample moves you!  Click on the cover to buy direct from the publisher.

As an alternative to buying directly from the publisher, especially if you’re an Amazon Prime member, or purchase a lot from them and can save on shipping, my books are also available through Amazon:

You’ll also notice a new page up in the navigation menu above labeled “Book Store”.  I have two other collections from 2008 and 2010 that you may be interested in as well.  Check them out!

Please also feel free to share this post with anyone and everyone who appreciates good independent publishing efforts.  We can use all the help we can get!

An interesting story about this song: I wrote it at a point when I was not in a relationship, but had had enough experience with the complexities of dating to know it was not a simple thing to find “the one”.  This was a song of hope, exploring how it would feel to know I’d found the only person I ever wanted to spend eternity with.

As you can see from the lyrics, I assumed it would take a long time.  In reality, though, I met my wife a few months after writing this, and I ended up singing it to her on our wedding day in front of 150 guests.

Reality in Dreams

It’s been a long time.
There’s a lot that I regret.
The empty moments
as years go by.
Nothing scares me more
than looking back in fear.

Sometimes the past is all I see.
But what’s behind is only half of me.

And I need you now.
And I need to feel.
You lift me up somehow.
You show me what is real.

You’ve been on my mind,
part of everything I see.
Filling empty spaces
with reality in dreams.
Never been so open,
never trusted anyone.

Sometimes the past is all I see.
But you can no the other side of me.

And I need you now.
And I need to feel.
You lift me up somehow.
You show me what is real.

With all that life can give,
the risk I have to take
is just to trust in you.
The memories will fade.

And I need you now.
And I need to feel.
You lift me up somehow.
You show me what is real.

If you like that lyric, you may like the collection. You can pick up the print version at Amazon or Createspace. I hope to get them out in Kindle soon too. Let me know if that interests you.

Here’s an example of a poem available in my first collection, Sanity is Boring.  It was a true “speed poem” in that I wrote it pretty much as she read these brief article bits and pieces to me.  I was sitting at my desk, fingers on the keys and eyes closed waiting for the muse to whisper to me… and she did.

As My Wife Reads the Reader’s Digest Aloud

She reads of teachers, incompetent, racist,
Paid for years by tax payers’ money,
Unwilling, unable to teach for their own
Empty heads and hearts.

She laughs that sad laugh, knowing our children
Will soon enough Feel the icy
showered baptism of man’s schooling,
Not knowledge, facts.

She reads of signs, slaughtered English,
Printed reasons for foreign views
Of America the Beautiful,
The tired, the poor, the nescient.

She sits quiet as the magazine
Mellows in to a less chaotic thought train,
Its passions subdued behind higher word count,
Meanings filtered, stretched

And I filter my own written words
Through years of life unlived,
Days of hours lost, of minutes squandered,
And wish only to crystallize the sound

Of thoughts shooting through fingertips
To keys then to cursor, then back again,
To linger a quiet moment inside
Empty heads and hearts.

If you like that poem, you may like the collection.  You can pick up the print version at Amazon or Createspace.  I hope to get them out in Kindle soon too.  Let me know if that interests you.

Courtesy of Ed Yourdon (flickr)

It’s an interesting, and frustrating, part of being human:  we tend to piss each other off all the time.

Why is that?

Well, let’s look at it from a few different standpoints:

We’re Only Human

It’s in our nature to be selfish, manipulative beings with an I, Me, Mine attitude and always looking for the easy way.  We hold grudges, we excuse our own mistakes and we hate, mock or nag others who fall out of line with our way of thinking.

But, at the same time, we fully expect other people to be forgiving of us, kind to us, tolerant of our actions and willing to listen to our point of view respectfully.

You’re probably seeing where this is going, but let’s leave it to the end.

We’re Overly Familiar

Especially with family members: spouses and children primarily, but extended family as well.

For reasons no one can fully explain, we hold these people to a higher standard than the rest of humanity and we have less patience, less tolerance and see less need for filters on our speech.

Considering these are the people we’ve vowed to spend eternity with “till death do us part”, the people we’ve physically brought into the world through the miracle of childbirth, you’d think we would place them on pedestals.  But we don’t.

And neither do they for us, for the most part.

We’re Trained Otherwise

The entire focus of our culture pushes the selfish, me-first attitude that I described above and teaches us, either blatantly or subtly, that our main goals need to be material by nature (more money, more things) rather than emotional (more love, more happiness) or spiritual (inner peace, connectedness).

As a result, our tendency is to act on our own behalf, not caring who we irritate or harm along the way, therefore pissing those people off.

At the same time, since deep down inside, we actually need emotional and spiritual benefits far more than most physical things, we find ourselves in a constant vicious cycle of striving after more and more while feeling less and less satisfied.  Therefore, we are also pissed off.

Not a pretty picture.

So What is the Solution?

Really, it’s fairly simple.

1. If we were all to follow The Golden Rule, we’d never treat other people in ways that would upset us.  If we lived our lives in a mirror, receiving exactly what we gave with every word, thought and action, you can bet we’d be much more careful to consider the other person’s feelings before opening our fat mouth.
2. If we were all to treat our family members with the same level of kindness, patience, gratitude and forgiveness that we afford perfect strangers or acquaintances, we’d be absolutely amazed at the incredible haven of peace and love our home would become.
3. If we were all to just get over ourselves, and show a little common sense and humility, we’d surely find the everyday problems and pressures of living in this crazy world wouldn’t get under our skin nearly as fast or as deep.  A little long-suffering and self-control would help too.
4. Finally, just everyone cool the heck down.  Ok?  We’ve got this.

Ufal Rhiann, hesitant hero of The Shirah Chronicles! (Actually, this is a character actor from a Star Trek episode, but it's how I picture my hero hermit, so now it's up on my desk!

I’m going to flatter myself by assuming you’re a long-time reader of this blog who has been absolutely dying to find out what’s going on with The Shirah Chronicles!  (Work with me here, ok?  I’m a starving artist and all that bunk.)

If so, no doubt you’ll recall that I first mentioned the epic fantasy trilogy (or quadruplet, if it pans out that far) here when I was discussing works “in the pipe”, way back in June of 2010.   Then, I shared a portion of my mindmap (which has since been extensively revised and expanded) here when I was discussing outlining and mindmapping.

I’ve been thinking about and making notes on this concept for a few years now, and I have several scenes in my head as if I’d seen them on television, so I’m sure they’re ready to come out on paper.  But, for some reason I haven’t yet figured out, the sheer size of the idea and all that’s going to go into it staggers my imagination and it’s bound me up tight….

…up until three days ago, when, out of the blue, I woke up at 5:00 am, sat at my laptop and, rather than checking e-mail, Twitter and what’s up next in my commercial writing to-do list, I pulled out a blank document and my old mindmap and just chucked the first scene out onto the screen.

It was about 1600 words, much of which I’m sure will eventually look like pure trash, but right now, it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

It’s exactly what I needed to get past the silliness of writer’s block, or whatever the mental log jam was that I was facing every time I thought about these books.  Now, suddenly, completing the project seems like a natural extension of that first scene.

Just one day at a time, scene by scene, sentence by sentence… and the future looks spectacular.

I’m brimming with joy at the prospects!

It’s a short, sharp lament, I guess you could say. Let me know what you think!

Courtesy of Lyndsay Sorenesen

Wishing Well

I access a reservoir of guilt
and dip my ladel of dreams.
Each dream, submerged, drips heartache
and overflows with regret.
I drink my fill of broken plans
and swallow the lies of justification.
I share my cup with family and friends
and daily consider drowning.

If you’re like me, (and everyone’s like me, right?) you’re intimidated by that blank page.

There have been times that blank page has stymied me for hours, even days on end.

It’s a strange thing, because I can’t really call it “writer’s block”.  I have ideas that need to be expressed, but the fear of screwing it up just keeps me from putting anything down there to start.

Since I deal with this routinely, I decided to do some research, and I came up with a solid list of ideas from other talented creatives all over the web.  Since you’re likely in the same boat as me, at least sometimes, I hope you get some benefit from these great links too!

• Teaching Comics – Getting Past the Blank Page, by Ben Towle, comes at the problem from the perspective of a cartoonist trying to generate ideas to either start or move forward with a comic.  The principles can work just as well for writing fiction, however.  As a matter of fact, drawing comics may work for writing fiction…
• The Content Crunch – Getting Past the Blank Page, by Erin at Trinity Applied Internet, starts an informative series that helps us eat the elephant one bite at a time.  Specific to blogging, but of course, text is text, right?
• Getting Past the Blank First Page, by Christie Craig and Faye Hughes of NetPlaces, deals specifically with romance novels, and provides some solid advice about accepting that your first draft is likely going to be crap, but it’s vital.  And that keeping it simple and putting something down, rather than nothing, wins the day.
• How to Conquer the Blank Page: 10 Tips That Really Work, by Ali Luke for Daily Blog Tips, is another article focused on blogging, but that’s cool because bloggers have to write a ton of content consistently.  These ten tips may or may not work for you, but it should at least generate some great ideas.  My personal fave: write it as an e-mail.  Somehow, psychologically, writing in gmail completely eliminates my inner critic and gets me moving.  Once I’m in a zone, I just copy and paste it into Word and move along!
• The Tyranny of the Blank Page, found on Write-on Mystery, takes a different approach: gather inspirational quotes and instructional tidbits from other writers you admire.  This is an interesting idea because nearly all of us have heroes whose work we love, and via the Web, it’s highly unlikely we can’t find something said by that individual that can help us out.
• Why You Hate Writing and How to Lust After the Blank Page Again, by Robert Bruce on Copyblogger, takes Robert’s trademark, spare, take-no-prisoners style and applies it to this age-old problem.  I especially love the section “You’re Not Living”.  We do need to do that now and then, don’t we?
• 10 Tips to Conquer the Blank Page, by Daniela Baker for TripWire Magazine, include some very nice “lazy” ideas like “Take a Break” and “Browse the Web”.  While, at first glance, this seems like a strange cure for being unable to write, you’re reading this post right now, so that’s proof that taking a break and browsing the web does the trick. 
• The Catchphrase Generator, by PantomimePony.  What can I say, except sometimes laughter is the best medicine!  I just clicked the button and came out with this gem: “Feel my nasty magnificence.”  You can’t beat that.  But seriously, they also have several other generators that really can get the juices flowing if you have a weird train of thought on the track.

Of course, this is just a little taste of what’s available out there.

There’s never been a better time to be a writer considering all the incredible resources available for us and all the millions of potential markets  for whatever it is we’re interested in writing.

Now we just need to get our butts in the seat, (consider that tip #9, for those of you counting) and just get it done!

Some people call it karma.

Others cite the “ripple effect” or reciprocity.

Whatever buzzword or tagline you choose, the bottom line is simply this:  What you do has a tendency to come back to you in one way or another.

Do I believe some mysterious cosmic force is at work here?

No, not really.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am a very religious person and I happen to believe in the concept of being rewarded for living well.

But that’s not what we’re discussing here.

This is plain old common sense stuff.  Here’s how it works:

You’re a jerk.

If that’s true, you can expect others to treat you rotten.  And, interestingly, jerks tend to assume they’re perfectly normal because it seems like everyone is exactly like them.

Funny how that works.

But when a jerk meets one of those rare and special people who won’t return what the jerk dishes out, they’re often shocked, temporarily at a loss, then changed.

And the change is a form of reciprocity too, isn’t it?

Because if you’re the one who pointed out the jerk’s bad attitude simply because you refused to mirror it, if the jerk steps back and changes that attitude based on your example, you’ve gained a friend.  Or at least some respect in the eyes of a stranger.

So, if you’re a jerk, you can expect people to be jerks to you.

If you’re a nice person, you can expect people to be nice to you.

Reciprocity.

What about money, fame or power?

Now many people believe this concept extends to money, fame, power and all the other “classic desires” of humanity.

For example, the Law of Attraction has become hugely popular in recent years.  This idea relies, in part, on the concept that your thoughts and emotions fly out into the universe and draw your desired outcomes back to you.  The stronger your thoughts and emotions, the more certain your outcomes.

Personally, I think that’s a lot of bunk, simply because there are billions of people in the world who strongly desire things that will never drop in their lap.  To blame them for “not wanting it enough” is lame and cruel.

But, there certainly IS a very strong connection between intense thought and positive outcome.

That connection, is ACTION.

So if your desire is fame, and you think intensely about how to become famous, then you actually DO what you have determined is the very best thing(s) you need to do to become famous, there’s a very good chance you WILL become famous.

If your desire is money, and you plan out exactly how you’re going to acquire and grow your fortune, then you actually carry out that plan to the letter, chances are you’re going to be wealthy.

But that’s not the law of attraction working.

It’s not your reward for WANTING something enough.

It’s good old-fashioned reciprocity: you are enjoying the fruits of your labor, the rewards of a job well-done.  You are reaping what you have sown.

Now, that certainly doesn’t mean that the best of plans can’t fall apart.  But the real key to making this principle work for you is consistent effort in working that plan.  And readjusting the plan as impurities rise to the surface.

It’s the effort that’s going to bring about the rewards.

If you take the time to plan your work and work your plan, and if you do all of this ethically and honestly, you WILL succeed.

If you decide to wing it, unsure of your goals and not caring how you get wherever you’re going, you WILL fail.

Reciprocity.